at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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