Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pants are for mortals
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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