I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
