did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
