Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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