Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
