tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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