I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
