he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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