Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
