pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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