Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
