Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Your face is a jimmy john
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
