Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
