If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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