I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize