He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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