Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize