69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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