just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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