Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
