she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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