Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
