my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my vag is so smooth its legendary
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
