She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
