ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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