so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
