This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
