I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
