I puked a lego.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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