I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
