i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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