Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
