i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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