Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm at about main and main street
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
