I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
