Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
