I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
