I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
