If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
