YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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