its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
