Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
