She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
