it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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