he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
