just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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