I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize