I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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