YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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