oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Success! We fucked roommates!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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