There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize