I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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