So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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