My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
should my penis look like a turkey
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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