I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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