I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
where am i from again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
