I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
