If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
