Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
