Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize