Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
