The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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