I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The air was thick with penises
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
