I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
