on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
