ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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