any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize