my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
