do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
