Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize