I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
