I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
