nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
